yay!! I got hired today!! good things good things!!

Quote of the day: "FlavoredCat 7 20: your coolness outweighs any suck you have"

I really wanna pick up on my art again. I feel bad that I've been neglecting it.  I'm so frustrated right now.  I dunno if anyone even wants to hear this, but that's okay, this is my xanga...and I don't have a diary anymore cause I already went through 3 in the past 2 years...so I need to get another one.  so for now, this will suffice....this will make no sense to anyone who reads this...here goes:

well...I been missin the old times a lot.   it's funny how fast the present can become the past...it's actually sad.  So anyway...I miss cruisin around with all those guys in my car...smokin up and stuff.  I miss how we'd drive out to antigo and get messed up and knock out there...and then we head out the next afternoon and chill at mario's.  I miss how tight chee and I used to be...how we were always with eachother...I miss having hue there...and johnny...I miss hiding my crush on slim....I miss roger and cracker even....most of all...I miss my old apartment....everything's going the wrong way now and I feel so lost...so abandoned...at least chue's still there for me...and all my love goes out to her right now.  She's my baby...but still...when you spend so much of your time with one group of people and you have such experiences that bring you close like brothers and sisters...then you suddenly just stop...it leaves you feeling empty...and wondering why?  I know...I'm thinking about it too much...but I have to.  cause I figured it out...I'm playin in a little kid's game...and I need to grow up.  I tried to fight time...I tried to deny what I am...but this is all I'll ever be...just me.  Omg...the things that I would've given them if they had just asked....the love that I had for all of them that they never knew...how much I miss them and they'll never know...I'm almost too tired to feel sad anymore.  But that makes sense...I been like this before...but worse. >< hehe...anyway, it's not like I'm ALL sad...I'm also happy.  I love my hometown now.  I never cared for it before cause I never had anything precious to tie it to...but now I do...all these people...and all these memories.  Hopefully, this isn't the end.  I'm pretty sure it isn't.  In fact, I'm pretty sure once the heart of summer rolls around, we're all gonna be out and together again.  But till then, Imma keep on missin those boys and those good times...and my girls...they been kinda sad cause everything's been getting messed up lately.  Before, everything just somehow worked out...now matter how crazy it was...and we had soo much fun.  But now it's like...nothing ever happens and we still get the bitching of a lifetime.  But hey, this buys me some time to change a little.  cause there's some things I gotta get done before I start going out again.  I was thinking earlier...and I finally understand Hue.  I think, out of everyone, I understand him the most.  The other girls just hate his shady ass...but that's just him...and I wouldn't want him any other way.  Aww...I just wish he knew I wasn't mad at him...at all...I wanna become a singer! I know it's almost impossible...but the journey would be one wild adventure.  oh but darn-I'm gettin ADD..lol. anyway, umm...yeah...I dunno.  i wonder what the summer has in store..^_^ let's hope it's wild.